We now live in the era where being an entrepreneur is the “cool thing”. The era where there are positive and hustle related quote images around the internet posted and liked by people who do not even follow the advice or actually grind or hustle.
An era where everyone seems to be an expert in something or a field, an era where everyone seems to love to point fingers at who is actually hustling and who is not. An era where people are faking it, faking their results, faking their entrepreneurial lifestyle and faking their grind just for some cool points.
In this era, I choose to be myself and to do what makes me genuinely happy. I believe so much in putting in work, I do not believe in handouts or favors. I believe in “earning” rather than “being given” and in order to earn, you need to put in work!
We’ve all watched motivational videos on YouTube or Instagram where gurus say things like “work 24/7”, “grind till your eyes and hands bleed” and words along the lines of working all day without having any kind of fun until you are “successful”, even though I do not believe in that whole-heartedly,I strongly believe in the idea of hard work and smart work, I believe in the fact that the more you put in, the more you get out.
On the other hand, I believe that everyone has a different way of living their life. Most of these motivational advice, speeches or quotes is not meant for everyone, the reason is because advice is not “one size fits all”. The advice and strategy that might work for Mr A might not work for Mrs B because both of them have entirely different life experiences, hobbies, backgrounds / upbringings and things that resonates with their individual personalities.
Am about to take you into the realm of night clubs and why I am almost out every other week at night partying even though most entrepreneurs and gurus might not agree with the idea of having fun, clubbing and partying but before we go into this, It is important for you to know that I DO NOT drink alcohol, smoke or take any type of drugs. I never have and never will, the reason for this is personal to me.
Most people then ask me “how can you have fun or claim to be having fun if you are not drinking alcohol or taking any kind of substance to get you high?”, my reply is always “I do not need a third-party substance to make me have fun, feel good or have a good time, its all within me”.
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So, if I am not getting high or drinking alcohol, why am I going to night clubs or parties? Well, that’s what you are about to know below:
1. To Build Social Circle.
Ever heard the saying “Your Network is your Net Worth”? Well, what that saying means is that the amount of high quality people you have in your network of friends or social circle will play a key role in increasing your net worth down the line.
Travelling and moving to London in 2015 was the first time I ever flew on a plane out of Nigeria.
I landed in a new land, a strange land, a place where I am unaware of the culture, people and way of life. I can either choose to be like the large percentage of people who migrate from under-developed or developing countries and choose to still remain in my shell and previous way of life or I can choose to let go of my old ways of thinking and create new experiences for myself. I chose the latter.
One of the places to meet cool people are in social gatherings, ideally Night clubs.
Most of my good friends and people who have opened some doors for me were all met in the club or some type of party. Why? People in the club have their “guard down”, by having their guard down, I do not mean they are drunk and do not have control of their senses (I hate talking with drunk people), I mean they are there to have fun and are out of their head. They are not stiff and they are easily approachable because of the mood they are in.
It’s easier to spark up a conversation with someone in a good mood than it is when they are in the “real world” thinking about their “real world problems”.
So, when am in the club. Am having a good time, dancing and sharing great vibes. Once I spot someone doing the same and he/she looks like someone I would love to associate myself with, I spark up a convo and get to know something about them and then exchange contact details with them (by the way, I always exchange Instagram details not phone numbers; because with Instagram, I am able to have a 5 seconds look at their feed and see if truly this person is someone I want to associate myself with and they are able to do the same to me)
On the next day after the club, I check them out on Instagram and hit them up or they hit me up about lastnight and how cool it was to have met each other and then we continue the convo and build our relationship from there.
This little scenario I explained above has been instrumental in creating relationships with high quality people and people who know people that knows people. I have been able to get introduced to other amazing people in their social circle, I have been invited to amazing places and locations I didn’t even know existed in London and wouldn’t have been able to get into, I have been able to get invites to high caliber events such as the London Fashion Week shows, business networking events and more…all through building social circle in the club.
Now, the aim of building social circle is not solely for me to be the only beneficiary of the relationship but also for me to add value to the other person. Being a tech and business guy, I am very valuable to almost any industry, so, the people within my social circle get to gain tremendous benefits from my expertise, skills and experiences. I also find new ways to add value to people within my social circle using other areas and aspects of my life.
I have met life long friends who have become brothers and sisters to me all from the club and parties…and have also met some hot chics as well! (lol)
2. To Build Business Relationships.
When I first came to London, I came to get my Masters. So the people I was hanging around with were mostly students and the clubs I attended were more for students rather than business minded individuals, entrepreneurs or people of high-caliber. (I did meet some cool people who are still friends of mine though, but majority of them are students)
All this changed when I rounded up my Masters and improved my social circle and the clubs I was going to.
The clubs I go to now, are somewhat termed “high-end” night clubs. These are clubs where you cannot just get in because you want to get in or because you bought a ticket, these are clubs where you get in based on who you know and if whoever you know isn’t strong enough, you will have to pay an entry fee of like £20 upwards or in some cases if you do not know anyone, you will need to buy a table upwards of £1500.
A large percentage of the people in these clubs are business minded people who have had a long week at work and are there to relax their nerves. This is a perfect set-up!
So, in this environment, am not just only listening to the music and having a good time, I am also networking. I am sparking up conversations with people and getting to know what they do to see how we can both be of value to one another.
It’s much easier to land clients in the night club than it is to send them a cold email, cold call them or pitch them during the day when they are in the “real world” with their “real world personality”. In the club, they are chilled, easily approachable and in a good mood.
I have been able to land some pretty cool clients in the club and also exchanged details with business owners whose services and products I will patronize and have patronized already. I have also gotten some really cool referrals from these people. The reason is because the night club environment is relaxed and they instantly know that I must be “cool” if I could get into the club or venue, because remember – only “cool” people and people who know cool people can get into these clubs.
It is beyond just clubbing, dancing and having a good time for me. It is networking and creating business relationships.
Everyone has their own way of living or doing things, some entrepreneurs will argue that if you are a serious business owner or entrepreneur, you should not be having fun or going to nightclubs but I believe its all man for himself, everyone has a choice on how they want to live their life and the strategies that they choose.
3. To Learn Social Dynamics.
The beautiful thing about life is that no matter how successful you are as an entrepreneur or an individual, if you lack social skills, you will always come across as an asshole and no one will even care about your success or your achievements. The reason for this is because before anything else, humans are social beings.
What I mean by Social dynamics is having social skills such as; starting a conversation, holding a conversation, being an interesting person, knowing how and when to escalate a conversation, having empathy, being a good listener, being a cool person people want to hang out with and bring along to places, being the life of the party or any venue, being confident and so on.
All the things listed above are not taught in schools, business classes or in the board room. These are traits you have to learn outside of formal gatherings, funny thing is that once mastered, these skills will make you a rock star in formal gatherings.
I would not say I was not an interesting person prior to me going to clubs but my social dynamics skills has greatly increased from always placing myself in high energy environment such as night clubs.
I used to be and somewhat still an introvert. I like to keep to myself a lot, I never share things with people and my work also plays a key role in this because I work from home and spend almost the whole day on my computer either typing, coding, designing or on skype with clients or prospects. If I continue being an introvert and continue keeping to myself all week at home just working my ass off and not interacting with people, I will end up being a successful asshole without any real world social skills.
By the way, almost everyone thinks they have social skills and understand social dynamics until they are placed in venues outside of their comfort zone. What do you do when you are in a place where you know nobody and everyone there looks like they are out of your league?
If you are like a large number of people, you will bring out your phone and start scrolling through your photo gallery or social media just to act like you are busy and not have to face the fact that you are alone and know nobody in the venue or you will just stick to yourself all through and later say “that place wasn’t really good”.
Do you know what I would do instead? I will get out of my head and start enjoying myself and then sparking up conversations with people and making this venue in which I initially knew nobody into my playground where everybody is my hommie! I learnt to do this from going to night clubs and being in high energy level environments.
From meeting and dating girls who I once considered “out of my league” to having conversations with guys who have luxuries I dream of and then becoming the life of the party, all these things could only happen because I learnt social dynamics and how to socialize without coming across as “needy” or coming from the mind-frame of “scarcity”.
Remember, high-end nightclubs have the most beautiful girls in town and some successful guys and people generally on their path to success. Being someone who was born and raised in Nigeria, there is no way I can have the social skills or mindset to have conversations on the level that resonates with these people. We are from different worlds entirely but by placing myself in these venues and being the life of the party, I have increased my social dynamic skills in such a way whereby no matter where I am, I feel comfortable and within minutes, I make that place my playground.
So, going to clubs isn’t only about having fun for me. There are so many things I am doing behind the scenes and I come out of almost every-night with either new people added to my social circle or new people I will be doing business and productive things with to either add value to their business and/or career.
I hope you’ve had fun reading this, let me know what you think about this post in the comment section below! Lets talk!
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